i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
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Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
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Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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