Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
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he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
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I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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