every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize