Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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