i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize