Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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