I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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