And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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