So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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