Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
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His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
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They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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