just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
How does one acquire holy water?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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