weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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