As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
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I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
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Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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