A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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