let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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