What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
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I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
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you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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