so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
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I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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