sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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