My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
false alarm, still single
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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