Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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