After last night, I could never be a politician.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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