hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
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He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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