I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize