She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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