Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
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