he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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