the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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