just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
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This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
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I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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