pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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