the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize