i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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