I hate all girls vehemently.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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