he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize