Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
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You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
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I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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