Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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