Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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