I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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