My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize