I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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