I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize