What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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