you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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