It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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