I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize