I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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