I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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