My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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