She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize