does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
All I want is dick and wine.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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