Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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